Just had the performance. I fucked up. But people said it was good. Now, all I wanna do is bawl. I don't like this response at all. Just how long more before everything lets up, gives way. I don't have a clue why I have to kill, but I want to. I wanna
demolish this
shithole, and have everybody know I'm the one who did it. Fuck you bastards. I'm gonna
castrate all of you. Scout's honour.
Things may be shaping up a little and it happens that I'm not the only one filled with uncertainty, devoid of any trace of self-control. Its strange why we can never get ourselves to do the minimal that we should do, and not sell ourselves over and over again. Okay, so people go like, "
Look who's talking." This is just self-assessment, like you're much better off anyway? Too, recently I've been told that I'm emu...wait, emo.(ahem.) Like
duh I'm not. I don't get pissed off when someone doesn't reply me, then get pissed off again when someone says something to my face. Nor do I act like a total recluse or some really depressed kid. Nor am i cliquish. Anyway, emo is for poseurs. I dig
MCR and
The Used because they are underground. Get your facts right.
David decides not to use the letter between 'h' and 'g' too much and not to blog too much. Bloggers self-advertise. They reason, they complain, and paint very unnatural pictures of their seeming meaningless and excruciatingly painful lives. From the sermon delivered today, David realises the pressure we youths put on ourselves to portray the stereotypes we try to be. Many try to create a very dark overview of their lives, just don't get David started on the effects that take place in their lives when they live out their blogs. So...its an irony that David also practises the art of self-advertisement right. David admits this need for attention and an avenue to dispose of various thoughts. However, David can choose to have the audience of the King of kings, to whom David will be "blogging" to very frequently in the future(
hopefully). Blogs can't solve problems, but
He can. Teck Liang said blogging's a waste of time because no one is going to take genuine interest in your life. Couldn't have said it better. Contradictions, contradications........